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All Blog Posts (21)

No Floods - Kieran Rogers

I never ever thought I'd live away
From everyone I love and say goodbye
Now I'm the prince of a downtown train
Where everybody here, they know my game
But when I walk down the street I hear them say
"there he goes, that crazy boy
he thinks he's something in this world"

So I'mma close my ears and dream
'cause life is never really what it seems
In every mystery, there's a truth
You know I'm tellin', I'm tellin' you...

No matter lightning o

… Continue

Added by Kieran Rogers on May 28, 2010 at 8:24pm — No Comments

You can't fix stupid

Yes they are out there and living with us every day!! YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID EIGHTH PLACE: In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.!!! SEVENTH PLACE: A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran"accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.!!!! SIXTH PLACE: Buxton, NC : A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug… Continue

Added by Gerrard (Gerry) Gyngell on May 17, 2010 at 3:25pm — No Comments

Just wanted to say hi

Just wanted to say hi Continue

Added by anthony lee williams on May 9, 2010 at 3:08pm — No Comments

ghost hunting

www.paranormalknight.co.uk Continue

Added by Helen Mathias on May 8, 2010 at 5:44pm — No Comments

The Universal Laws

1. Law of Mechanical Repair After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee. 2. Law of Gravity Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. 3. Law of Probability The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. 4. Law of Random Numbers If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers. 5. Law of the Alibi If you tell the boss you were… Continue

Added by Gerrard (Gerry) Gyngell on March 27, 2010 at 5:33pm — No Comments

The Philosophy of Ambiguity

FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH: 1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS. 2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR. 3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION. 4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES? 5. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE. 6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HEL… Continue

Added by Gerrard (Gerry) Gyngell on March 5, 2010 at 3:29pm — No Comments

Friends

as im new on here any 1 want 2 add me as friends please x x Continue

Added by tacy windmill on February 15, 2010 at 1:27pm — No Comments

Old Guys are Helpful

Old guys...yep that's me...... I was in Waitrose the other day pushing my cart around when I collided with a young guy pushing his cart. I said to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate. I said, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?" The young guy say… Continue

Added by Gerrard (Gerry) Gyngell on December 11, 2009 at 2:17pm — No Comments

Tale of an Aussie Pig

The Tale of an Aussie Pig A Northern Territories (Oz) farm hand, radios back to the farm manager. 'Boss, I got one helluva problem here... I hit a ruddy pig with the truck. The pig seems OK, but he's stuck in the roo-bars on the front and is wriggling and squealing so blaady much, ah can't get him out. The manager says,'Ok, there's a ....303 Rifle behind the seat in the rack,take it, shoot the pig and you'll be able to remove it.' Five minutes later the farm hand calls back, 'I did what you… Continue

Added by Gerrard (Gerry) Gyngell on November 23, 2009 at 4:08pm — No Comments

The Cabbie and the Nun

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome Cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you." She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am And have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and Hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could Say or ask that I would find offensive." "Well, I've always ha… Continue

Added by Gerrard (Gerry) Gyngell on November 5, 2009 at 3:47pm — No Comments

Some more thoughts to Ponder

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead. Life is sexually transmitted. Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they us… Continue

Added by Gerrard (Gerry) Gyngell on September 22, 2009 at 1:06pm — 1 Comment

THOUGHTS TO PONDER

THOUGHTS TO PONDER 1. A day without sunshine is like night. 2. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 4. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 5. Remember, half the people you know are below average. 6. He who laughs last thinks slowest. 7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap. 9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture m… Continue

Added by Gerrard (Gerry) Gyngell on September 15, 2009 at 11:21am — No Comments

Some Questions that Haunt me !!!

QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME! Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the m… Continue

Added by Gerrard (Gerry) Gyngell on September 11, 2009 at 1:49am — 1 Comment

Priest's Dying Wish!

In London an old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near. "Yes, Father?" said the nurse. "I would really like to see Prime Minister and the Chancellor before I die", whispered the priest. "I'll see what I can do, Father", replied the nurse. The nurse sent the request to Parliament and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived; Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling would be delighted to vis… Continue

Added by Gerrard (Gerry) Gyngell on September 3, 2009 at 4:56pm — 2 Comments

Divorce letters

The Best Divorce Letter - everrrr! Dear wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & wen… Continue

Added by Gerrard (Gerry) Gyngell on August 31, 2009 at 3:23pm — 2 Comments

So true !!!!!

A new council tax e-valuation policy wants to charge us more if we live in a nice area.That ought to mean discounts for those of us who live in a rough area. There is a huge council house in our street.The extended family is run by a grumpy old woman with a pack of fierce dogs.Her car isn’t taxed or insured and doesn’t even have a number plate,but the police still do nothing. Her bad tempered old man is notorious for racist comments. A shopkeeper blames him for ordering the murder of his son and… Continue

Added by Gerrard (Gerry) Gyngell on August 18, 2009 at 2:07pm — 1 Comment

For the lawyers

BEST LAWYER STORY OF THE YEAR, DECADE AND PROBABLY THE CENTURY. Charlotte, North Carolina. A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost 'in a series of small fires.' The in… Continue

Added by Gerrard (Gerry) Gyngell on July 24, 2009 at 10:41am — 3 Comments

HAPPY FATHERS DAY to all you Daddys!

HAPPY FATHERS DAY to all you Daddys from us Ratters! Continue

Added by Alex on June 21, 2009 at 12:16pm — No Comments

HAPPY EASTER FELLOW GROOVY RATTERS!!

HAPPY EASTER FELLOW GROOVY RATTERS!! Continue

Added by Rob on April 12, 2009 at 9:02pm — 2 Comments

Funny 4 U

A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband who was a big burly man tossed his pants to his bride and said, "Here, put these on." She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can't wear your pants," she said. "That's right," said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm the man and I wear the pants in this family." With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He tri… Continue

Added by Gerrard (Gerry) Gyngell on January 4, 2009 at 1:02pm — No Comments